Lesson in the gift of pig headedness.

Now, after having done prior preparation through life and other practices, the study and practice of Yoga begins. -- Yoga Sutra I.1


Today, I discovered something wonderful! I'm pig headed. {Read: Perseverant.} Of course I knew I was stubborn, i'm rather tender towards my stubbornness. It has started countless arguments. It's the me that can be rigid and inflexible at times. It's also the me that is fiercely loyal to my friends and family, the me that once wounded is very slow to forget. Yet, I never realized what it meant for me. 


Today I attended my first workshop. An Arm Balance workshop taught by Jamie Lee. I had no idea what to expect, I felt silly for having even registered. We warmed up with Sun Salutations, and the routine of it was comforting. There weren't any obviously daunting classmates, none that struck me as having mastered the art of balancing calmly on just their hands. It would end up that the girl with her mat next to mine was very good at balancing. I hardly saw her look around the room, she just stayed centered and suspended. In moments I would envy her. Envy has become a problem for me lately, in the classroom. I took a class on thursday, where the practitioner behind me could bend herself forward completely and keep her back {even her low back} perfectly straight. I would pull and tense and push and  tighten and loosen and still end up with a rounded back, a smug set of hips, and a frustrated Julia. But unlike thursday, with guidance from Jamie, I was able to come back to my mat, and think "This is perfect. exactly like this. The next step is just an improvement on this perfection. We are fine getting good getting great getting greater." Soon, the more I let go of my judgements, the quieter my head was, the more I could listen to my body whispering instructions.  Once that happened, that my body quietly instructed that we actually could physically do these postures, something shifted. My stubbornness became an ally. I kept falling and kept smiling to myself and I kept going back to the pose. Sometimes I even managed to stay in the pose! The greatest moment for me was the discovery that from standing, the road to a wall-supported handstand is just like how you do a cartwheel! I lived for cartwheels and being upside down as a kid. I did the acro-jazz, the monkey bars, and the headstands against every wall in our home. So, I wound up, pointed my toes, and planted my hands and kicked. When my feet actually hit the wall behind me, I was so shocked I actually stared in the mirror. The stare broke into a smile, and I played around with my balance for a moment before letting myself fall to the floor, and then tried it again, and again, and again. Success, Failure, Success, Success, Failure, Success. The discovery of that determination was worth more than a perfect posture, or praise, or even how I felt compared to someone else's accomplishments. It was mine, and that doggedness would get me everywhere I already am, and everywhere I need to be. 


Namaste

I love bookstores.

I always have. I still remember the first time my father brought me to chapters, and we talked to a pretty salesgirl named April, who introduced me to my first favorite author, favorite series, favorite book. Since then, book stores have been like magic shops. Holding untold wonders, hiding just behind crisp, shiny covers. I still get a shiver when I get a new book, especially one I'm really looking forward to. It's the same shiver I get when my plane takes off, or when I am witness to something truly beautiful.

Today was no exception. After humming and hawing for the better part of two hours, bouncing between the two big bookstores on St-Catherine's street comparing selections, I finally left with two books. Neither of the two I set out to get, but I'm happy with my choices.  "Yoga Body" By Judith H. Lasater and "Ashtanga Yoga: Practice & Philosophy" by Gregor Maehle. 

The minute I leafed through Yoga Body, and  read "thoracic spine" I knew this would be one of the books i'd leave with. I've encountered a lot of anatomy based vocabulary that I don't know lately. Through a lot of blogs, and even in my classes. I didn't even know what a "sacrum" was until a few months ago. 

I can't wait to have a few days off so I can totally geek out and get my learn on!

Week 2 @ Luna & Reception

Just a few updates for the internest.

Luna update: Reception: Didn't remember as many names as I would have liked, and was feeling shy/ quiet. Didn't miss anyone, or blow anything up, so all and all a success.

                        Practice: I found my breath again! Throughout my practice at home and in class, except Moksha [because I would expire], my breathing has been distracted and shallow. I suppose as without as within. I had a few great up-dogs (urdhva mukha svanasana), where I found the strength in my arms to pull myself through chaturanga dandasana and then to push up into up dog while inhaling and pulling my shoulders back.

Off to chapters now to get some books. I have my eyes set on "The Woman's Book of Yoga & Health" by Linda Sparrowe and "Ashtanga Yoga: The Practice Manual" by David Swenson. I've started reading (read: stalking) Damn Good Yoga, a blog that I stumbled upon a week ago. She's tattooed, is/was a waitress, suffered from tension headaches and migraines from a young age, and is now one badass yogi, as well as a great resource and inspiration. Those were the books that got her started, ergo I want to start with them.

The internet is so creepy sometimes. In a good way. I think.

Damn Good Yoga: Primary with a broken leg!

Damn Good Yoga: Primary with a broken leg!: Ever wondered how you'd maintain your practice with a broken limb? I have. This man is keeping his practice afloat through a broken femur ...

*SQUEEEEEEEE*

Ok.

 I can be shy when it comes to people/topics that I respect or admire, so it was mildly out of character for me to jump on the opportunity of working the reception for the monday class in exchange for taking the monday class for free. I found the class itself really cleansing, with lots of vinyasa and forward bends.  Also, such a change from the Moksha yoga environment. Bram was funny & genuine, offering wisdom to be used on and off the mat. He walks around the class giving hands on adjustments to each student. I loved it instantly. God, I hope they never read this.

So, today was my first day working reception at Centre Luna Yoga. I was nervous and vibrate-y all the way there. The "MindBody" system shut down right before people started to arrive, so everything was done by hand. During the class I found myself more present and more dedicated than usual. I felt involved in every asana, making endless (non-judgemental) adjustments. Even my Chaturanga (Four Legged Staff Pose) felt strong and natural, were as it usually feels tight and clunky.

I remembered how to input everything into the computer afterwards. Bram offered my another go on Wednesday, and I biked home with a big, silly grin plastered to my face.

Cleo's Suggestion

This morning was shitty. I woke from dreams of my grandfather, and of my family dealing with his death, as if I were floating above my family mourning him. Maybe I was, who knows. I wandered over to my practice space, and collapsed into Balasana (child pose). I rose from here to a half hearted down-dog where I stood up, and promptly sat on the couch, curling into the fetal position.

I lay there staring at my mat, convinced that there would be no practice today, when Cleo walked directly onto my mat, sitting and staring right back. She went about doing cat things, such as, from sitting turning her upper body all the way around to lick her lower back, coming back to center, and doing the same thing on the other side. Despite myself I smiled.

Upon my cats suggestion, I went back to my mat, and did every twist and backbend I could think of. Seeking and finding energy and twisty-ness.

His passing is harder than I thought it would be. Yoga, crying, boyfriend, laughing, tea and my yogic feline are all my tools in getting through this.