I'm currently trying to monitor my reactions, my thought patterns and the way I share my life with others. Ergo trying not to complain, trying not to be judgmental, trying to not be cynical and trying to sincerely listen to other people while they talk. A find myself these days thinking that I sound like a cheesy, phony douchebag. I can see peoples eyes glaze over when I start talking about yoga, self improvement or vegetarianism. It's as if I have a hard time explaining it without using the cliched stock phrases associated with it. I notice in my classes that it's lingo that helps in the moment. It helps break up the mind's way of going about things. But while trying to communicate with anyone it comes off as lame.
I'm having trouble combining my cynical, sarcastic, funny, laid back self with this clean living, forward moving yoga person. They seem at odds, and as a result my interactions feel jerky and shy.
I wonder if any else has trouble synchronizing parts of themselves, or parts of their lives? Do we have to be two separate selves? Do we have to give one up to honor the other?
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