Practicing with " God ".

Like most people I've grown up with, I'm uncomfortable with the word "God".  Being raised in the west, with a Catholic mother and an indifferent father, the use of the word God became synonymous with my guilt, my short comings, with repression. In the last decade of my life, I've come to associate it with a close friend of mine who chose to believe in "The Creation" story. Who has confessed to me years ago, drunk, that she knows it doesn't make sense, but her husband & In-laws need her to believe it. Since her re-immersion in Christianity she's quicker to mock and judge people on superficial things, she's more intolerant of other ways of life..

I've always been curious about religions, I spent half of my teens a "devout" Wiccan. I've studied Buddhism & Hinduism just for fun. But I've never thought to bring god into my house, my life or my practice. This has to do partly with the fact that I can't separate the word God from Christianity. When I imagine God he looks like a hungry, disproving Santa Claus. Intellectually, through yoga, I try to see God as everything, myself and my chair and my walls included. It hasn't gelled yet though, because even thinking about "God" sincerely makes me feel silly, like I'm trying to believe in some childhood fantasy.

This said, I've started reading Sharon Gannon & David Life's "Jivamukti Yoga" Book. Yoga is talked about as a path to enlightenment, not an exercise or a hobby or anything in between. Up until now, I've dismissed this side of yoga. Using it as a singular tool than as a system. Because it makes me uncomfortable. So each morning, while drinking my tea, I squirm with embarrassment as I hungrily read their earnest, devout guide to yoga. They implore the reader to dedicate their practice to something higher than themselves, to God. They state that doing this is part of liberation, and that "your practice will become full of grace." This isn't their idea really, Patanjali wrote this in his sutras, it's the way the system of Yoga was originally intended to be.

Lord Shiva statue in Rishikesh, India

So yesterday, for kicks, I tried it. I practiced in the evening, and set "God" as my intention. I came back to it a few times, telling myself, that I was giving away my practice, feeding something else with it. I laughed when my puppy interrupted, climbing on top of me during bridge, and took the time for savasana. I even meditated later on in the evening. I know that focusing on something other than my ego during the practice, including how I felt my practice reflected me, and my feelings, was helpful. It allowed me more room, and maybe more honesty about where I am in my practice.

Disclaimer: I don't know what I believe, truly. I also think it doesn't matter much, just about any view in the entire world could turn out to be wrong ( or right, simultaneously ) at the end of all things. I'm just thinking aloud. :)

I hope everyone is having a wonderful, and thoughtful day. 

Comfort Zone, Up, Up & Away!!

So, I promised I'd be writing about the classes I took this week. My goal was five, and I managed 3. Ponyo got sick earlier this week, and then I picked up a cold a couple of days ago. What I lacked in quantity, I made up for in quality though.

Wednesday: Yoga Flo 2 with Bram Levinson  @ Centre Luna Yoga 

This is one of my regular classes, and it's my favorite. Bram is awesome! The energy in the room is powerful, and the space itself is gorgeous. He often has playlists that reinvigorate you at just the right moment, i.e. Utthita Parsvakonasana. ( my arch nemesis ;] )

Thursday: Yin Yoga with Melanie @ Happy Tree Yoga

I had gotten my blood tested in the morning, which isn't something I deal particularly well with, so this class was blissful. Snuggling and stretching and laughing. Mel is the founder of happy tree, and she really embodies their attitude. Fun, warm, happy, and super down to earth. I left this class wishing I could do it again, or take a nap. 

Saturday: Boot Camp with Skye @ U.N.I. Training 

So, every Saturday at noon, UNI offers a free Boot Camp class.  We had run up & down the 8 flights of stairs, and then did some cardio drills, and then Skye said "We'll start the workout soon", and I laughed. My team mates looked at me and nodded, this was only the warm up. I was sure I was done for. Then somehow, it gets better. You're burning, and everything is trembling but you finish with this amazing sense of accomplishment, mingling with some nausea. Now, 2 hours later, I feel energized and excited to get my butt kicked again. :) Please check this out, if I can do it, you can too!

The video is a little something I found on my creative fling, and after being so nervous to try something new, it was the perfect reminded that any obstacle i'll ever face, is also just part of the blanket. 

I hope you all had an exciting and scary week. 

XOXJ